FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
LEADERSHIP TURN-OVER AT CHRISTIAN ORGANIZATION
Misappropriation of Funds Cited as Reason for Organization’s Make-Over
Holly Macon, a representative of the Citizens of Virtue (C.O.V.), a Christian organization, announced today
that the organization would be undergoing a reorganization of assets. She listed some reasons for this including
the recently vacated Board of Directors’ seats, the revelation of inappropriate spending by outgoing board members
and the disappearance of the organization’s leader, Pastor Bryson Grace.
“It’s like biting into a ripe, red apple,” said Holly Macon at an impromptu press conference held at the Citizens
of Virtue international headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, “and finding a squirming, slimy worm inside—bitten
in half. To those of us left holding the bag, it’s now crystal clear that the previous board members did not have
the best interests of their good Christian members at heart. You can’t imagine our shock and horror.”
“I’m just one of the members who believed in Pastor Grace,” said Macon. “I’m nobody and I’m devastated. But when
Bryson disappeared, it was a big wake-up call. Its God’s Will that we pick up the broken pieces of this church,
rediscover its purpose, and rebuild it in God’s Name for His people. I promise that we will salvage whatever we
can from this mess. I can’t believe we were so blind for so long. My personal thanks go out to all those who worked
so hard to expose the worm in the apple.”
Bryson Grace, missing President of the Citizens of Virtue (C.O.V.), did not report to work one morning and efforts
to contact him have failed. “If anyone has seen Pastor Grace or heard from him in recent days the police would very
much appreciate any information on his whereabouts,” said Holly Macon. “We’re very concerned.”
###
If you have any information on Bryson Grace’s location, please call the COV offices at 1-888-64-VIRTU (648-4788).
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
VOLUNTEERISTIC SPIRIT RAISED TO A NEW LEVEL
Volunteers Get Moving with the Diligent Disciples Program
The Citizens of Virtue, a Christian organization, relies heavily on the diligent efforts of its volunteers.
We recently posted a list of jobs that needed done. The organization’s members rose to the occasion and completed
every task on the list in record time.
“I’m blown away by the generosity and helpfulness of these people,” said Pastor Bryson Grace, head of the organization.
“They put their hearts into it -- that’s for sure -- and they’ve made a big impact on the future of the Citizens of Virtue.
More than perhaps they even know.”
The Diligent Disciples program was designed to give multiple layers of volunteers a way to perform tasks on the volunteer
job list. It’s been put to rest. The organization is thinking about whether to build up a new job list for later in the
year although at this time they’re back to just doing their daily routines. “Part of the goal of the Diligent Disciples
program,” said Pastor Grace, “was to get us caught up on some long-neglected tasks.”
Pastor Grace traveled to the Caribbean to see Leon Lutz, Vice President of International Outreach, and to talk about a
new program to reach more diligent workers. Once they’d finished, Pastor Grace declared Lutz’s work at the Citizens of
Virtue complete, and so, Lutz began an early retirement. There are no plans to refill the position any time soon.
About the Citizens of Virtue
The Citizens of Virtue, led by Pastor Bryson Grace, is a global, Christian organization dedicated to spreading
God’s Word, championing the family, and making it easy for the world’s fallen to return to the path of virtue.
The organization boasts more than ten million followers worldwide. Their international headquarters
are located in Kansas City, Missouri.
###
If you’d like more information about this topic, or to schedule an interview with Pastor Bryson Grace,
please call the COV offices at 1-888-64-VIRTU (648-4788).
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
LORD SHACKLE BRACELETS BECOME COLLECTOR’S ITEMS
Limited Edition Bracelets Have All Sold Out
The Citizens of Virtue have been making bracelets they called “LORD Shackle Bracelets” that provide spiritual
support to those who wear them. The limited edition set has officially sold out and the COV won’t be making any more.
Terence Blake in Accounting at COV said he thought collectors would create a secondary market for them and their
value would increase. The COV wants to thank the folks who bought the bracelets and remind them that they have the
true LORD at their wrists. “Do not worship false idols,” says Pastor Bryson Grace.
Its a sad day at the COV when we not only come to the end of our blessed cache of LORD Shackle bracelets but also
to the end of our time with Savannah Merks. Our Father has called her back to hearth and home where she plans to
focus on family and on her personal relationship with God.
Pastor Bryson Grace himself escorted Savannah out on her last day and stood with tears in his eyes as he watched
her drive away. “I’ll miss that girl,” he said. “She has been my right hand for all these years and yet there was
so much I didn’t know about her.”
About the Citizens of Virtue
The Citizens of Virtue, led by Pastor Bryson Grace, is a global, Christian organization dedicated to spreading
God’s Word, championing the family, and making it easy for the world’s fallen to return to the path of virtue.
The organization boasts more than ten million followers worldwide. Their international headquarters
are located in Kansas City, Missouri.
###
If you’d like more information about this topic, or to schedule an interview with Pastor Bryson Grace,
please call the COV offices at 1-888-64-VIRTU (648-4788).
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
PLEDGE DRIVE HALTED FOR RECORD-KEEPING INVENTORY
New Methods for Recording Donations Discussed at Christian Organization
A recent inventory of donor records at a non-profit Christian organization,
known as the Citizens of Virtue, has turned up some inefficiencies. As a result,
the organization’s accounting department will be re-assessing existing procedures
and coming up with a new, more secure set of processes for tracking donations and maintaining donor records.
Savannah Merks, the lead spokeswoman for the organization, said, “We’re an organization composed primarily
of volunteers. For this reason, details sometimes slip through the cracks. We’ve learned that the best way
to avoid misdirected resources and lost records is to establish tools for our workers at the phone bank and
in the mail room that do not allow for any margin of error or indiscretion. Over the next few months of
pledge-drive down-time, we’ll be working on creating those tools.”
Relatedly, we’ve decided that we need someone with greater technical expertise in the role of Vice President
of Community Donations. The previous Vice President, Eli Richter, has stepped down, and the Citizens of Virtue
extends its gratitude to him for his years of service. The organization will be seeking the perfect replacement
for him in the coming months.
About the Citizens of Virtue
The Citizens of Virtue, led by Pastor Bryson Grace, is a global, Christian organization dedicated to spreading
God’s Word, championing the family, and making it easy for the world’s fallen to return to the path of virtue.
The organization boasts more than ten million followers worldwide. Their international headquarters
are located in Kansas City, Missouri.
###
If you'd like more information about this topic, or to schedule an interview with
Pastor Bryson Grace, please call Savannah Merks at 1-888-64-VIRTU (648-4788) or email Savannah
at savannah@citizensofvirtue.com.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
POTENTIAL TAMPERING AND PASSIONIX RECALL
Hormone-Balancing Supplement Taken Off the Market for Testing
In the interest of public safety, the Citizens of Virtue (C.O.V.), a Christian organization dedicated to
improving Christian lifestyles around the world, announced today that they would be voluntarily removing
their supplement, Passionix™, from production, and that an active recall will begin immediately.
Savannah Merks, a representative of the organization, said, “We’ve had it brought to our attention that
some people have experienced negative side effects when going off the supplement. These side effects did
not show up in our test studies. However, we’re taking the reports very seriously. Whenever an organization,
like Citizens of Virtue, gathers so many loyal followers, it’s not unusual for there to be saboteurs in the
mix. We’re recalling the supplement, at great cost, because we would never do anything that might harm our
members. We will test the bottles that come back and make a determination on whether they’ve been tampered with, or not.”
The supplement, developed by the Citizens of Virtue to smooth teenage mood swings and out-of-control hormonal
urges, has been on the market for only a short time. It was designed by Dr. Justin Janes, Vice President of
Scientific Development at the Citizens of Virtue. Unfortunately, Dr. Janes has requested an extended leave of absence.
A pro tempore replacement will step into his role and oversee the evaluation of the Passionix that comes back in the recall.
About the Citizens of Virtue
The Citizens of Virtue, led by Pastor Bryson Grace, is a global, Christian organization dedicated to spreading
God’s Word, championing the family, and making it easy for the world’s fallen to return to the path of virtue.
The organization boasts more than ten million followers worldwide. Their international headquarters
are located in Kansas City, Missouri.
###
If you'd like more information about this topic, or to schedule an interview with
Pastor Bryson Grace, please call Savannah Merks at 1-888-64-VIRTU (648-4788) or email Savannah
at savannah@citizensofvirtue.com.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
CHILDREN’S CAMP DEVOTES TIME TO TEACHER TRAINING
Camp Francis Closes Temporarily, Reopening Date Not Set
Camp Francis, a haven for children whose parents want them to receive the best Christian education available, has temporarily closed its doors to accommodate the first annual Teacher Evaluation and Training Seminar. During the seminar, teachers will undergo an intense training and testing regimen with Pastor Bryson Grace and numerous experts in child psychology, educational philosophy and behavioral modification.
The Citizens of Virtue, the parent organization of the camp, created the seminar in response to a misunderstanding of policies and practices at the camp that led to the dismissal of an administrator.
“This is about giving emotional support and guidance to the wonderful teachers who were so shocked and surprised to discover that someone had disobeyed the rules,” said Savannah Merks of the Citizens of Virtue. “They all feel betrayed, as does Pastor Grace, and who can blame them? They have the best interests of the children at heart. At the seminar, we will give our teachers tools they can use to deal with this sort of thing, so that it never happens again.”
Dr. Alejandra Gonzales saw the upcoming seminar, staff changes and curriculum adjustments as the perfect opportunity to tender her resignation from the Citizens of Virtue. As she said in her letter to Pastor Grace, “Recent events have convinced me that God is calling me elsewhere.” Pastor Grace has stated he will promote from within the organization to refill Dr. Gonzales’ position, at an undetermined date, in the future.
About Camp Francis
Located in Spokane, Washington, Camp Francis is a private school that provides a place for children to learn
and have fun while their parents take care of the business of life. It boasts an experienced teaching staff,
carefully screened for Christian values that match those of the Citizens of Virtue organization.
About the Citizens of Virtue
The Citizens of Virtue, led by Pastor Bryson Grace, is a global, Christian organization dedicated to spreading
God’s Word, championing the family, and making it easy for the world’s fallen to return to the path of virtue.
The organization boasts more than ten million followers worldwide. Their international headquarters
are located in Kansas City, Missouri.
###
If you'd like more information about this topic, or to schedule an interview with
Pastor Bryson Grace, please call Savannah Merks at 1-888-64-VIRTU (648-4788) or email Savannah
at savannah@citizensofvirtue.com.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
CHURCH-GOERS DUPED BY DANGEROUS SONG LYRICS
Christian Organization Cleans Up Christian-Youth Song Lyrics
The Citizens of Virtue (C.O.V.), a Christian organization devoted to raising children in a healthy and God-blessed environment, has re-evaluated a plan to change the lyrics of fourteen songs popular among the youth of many Christian communities.
“It has come to our attention,” said Blake Cranston Esq., a lawyer at the Citizens of Virtue headquarters in Kansas City, Missouri, “that these particular songs are copyrighted. We have no desire to step outside the law, and for this reason, we’ve abandoned the project. Our wish was to write new and amusing lyrics for these songs, for entertainment purposes only. Parodies.”
Cranston continued, “The legal ground here is gray enough, however, that we’ve decided it isn’t worth the risk. Organizations such as the Citizens of Virtue are often the target of superfluous, malicious lawsuits. Though it saddens me, I’ve recommended that we take the safe route. We have enough musicians in our organization, truly good Christians, that we’ve turned our attention instead toward fostering newly emerging talent.”
V.P. of Cultural Development Wilfred Dawes praised Mr. Cranston for his foresight and diligence, in his resignation letter, delivered directly to Pastor Bryson Grace, effective immediately. Dawes cited personal challenges for his decision to leave the organization. Pastor Grace has no current plan for refilling the position.
About the Citizens of Virtue
The Citizens of Virtue, led by Pastor Bryson Grace, is a global, Christian organization
dedicated to spreading God's Word, championing the family, and making it easy for
the world's fallen to return to the path of virtue. The organization boasts more
than ten million followers worldwide. Their international headquarters are located
in Kansas City, Missouri.
###
If you'd like more information about this topic, or to schedule an interview with
Pastor Bryson Grace, please call Savannah Merks at 1-888-64-VIRTU (648-4788) or email Savannah
at savannah@citizensofvirtue.com.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
MINISTRY TAKES ITS MESSAGE TO THE INTERNET
Christian Organization Launches Its Virtual
Virtues Campaign Online
The Citizens of Virtue have announced their Virtual Virtues campaign, a seven-part
program whose purpose is to educate the world on God-sanctioned morality. Based
on the classic seven virtues, each of which represents a behavioral goal for good
Christians, the program supports individual, family, and community health and prosperity.
The seven virtues include Temperance, Patience, Chastity, Kindness, Humility, Diligence,
and Charity.
Over the course of the next few months, the Citizens of Virtue will roll out their
program, focusing on one Virtual Virtue per week, using their website
www.citizensofvirtue.com as the primary medium.
Virtu-Volunteers will also be appearing at a number of Christian
conventions this fall.
The Citizens of Virtue are releasing only one of the seven parts at a time, gradually,
so that people have a chance to discuss and meditate upon the messages revealed.
The first virtue addressed will be Temperance. It will be revealed on October 9,
2008.
About the Citizens of Virtue
The Citizens of Virtue, led by Pastor Bryson Grace, is a global, Christian organization
dedicated to spreading God's Word, championing the family, and making it easy for
the world's fallen to return to the path of virtue. The organization boasts more
than ten million followers worldwide. Their international headquarters are located
in Kansas City, Missouri.
###
If you'd like more information about this topic, or to schedule an interview with
Pastor Bryson Grace, please call Savannah Merks at 1-888-64-VIRTU (648-4788) or email Savannah
at savannah@citizensofvirtue.com.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
PASTOR BRYSON GRACE TAKES TEEN SEX DRIVE IN HAND
Christian Organization Introduces
Medicine That Focuses Kids Back on Their Education
Pastor Bryson Grace, President of the Citizens of Virtue, a Christian organization
dedicated to keeping families together and spreading dedication to God's Word throughout
the world, has put his stamp of approval on the latest product to come out of their
research and development group. He introduced Passionix® to the public on August
13, 2008, at a press conference in Kansas City, Missouri.
"Passionix is a medication that provides parents and young people with a solution
to the hormonal imbalances of puberty," said Dr. Justin Janes, Head of Research
and Development for the Citizens of Virtue. "Extensive testing of the medication
has proven that it works with no ill side effects."
Passionix reduces hormonal drives and swings in teenagers, allowing them to focus
on those things that are far more important, such as school and church, at a time
when the choices they make affect their entire futures. It puts them back in control
of themselves, their thoughts and their bodies.
Passionix comes in both liquid and pill form.
About the Citizens of Virtue
The Citizens of Virtue, led by Pastor Bryson Grace, is a global, Christian organization
dedicated to spreading God's Word, championing the family, and making it easy for
the world's fallen to return to the path of virtue. The organization boasts more
than ten million followers worldwide. Their international headquarters are located
in Kansas City, Missouri.
###
If you'd like more information about this topic, or to schedule an interview with
Pastor Bryson Grace, please call Savannah Merks at 1-888-64-VIRTU (648-4788) or email Savannah
at savannah@citizensofvirtue.com.
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
CITIZENS OF VIRTUE CONDEMNS "ALTERNATE REALITY" GAMES
Announces "Virtual Virtues" Campaign to Combat Threat to Youth
A sweeping wave of “alternate reality” games is steering our nation down a dangerous path, according to the Citizens of Virtue (C.O.V.), a Christian organization dedicated to improving Christian lifestyles around the world.
Alternate reality games plunge players into a world where fiction and reality are turned topsy-turvy. They take place online and, often, in the real world as well. It is common for an alternate reality game, or A.R.G., to fail to identify itself as a work of fiction, even in its external statements of what it is.
Savannah Merks, a representative of the organization, said, “These alternate reality games are far worse than hazards like roleplaying games or violent videogames. At least with those, the damage is contained to a few players at once. With alternate reality games, literally millions of people could be caught up simultaneously in a mind-altering swirl of confused thinking. We must protect our children from these dangers and, instead, fill their minds with virtuous thoughts.”
To combat A.R.G.s and other threats to decency, the Citizens of Virtue will be launching a powerful online campaign called the “Seven Virtual Virtues.” Each week for seven weeks, Citizens of Virtue founder, Pastor Bryson Grace, will lead the world on a soul-seeking exploration of one of the seven cardinal virtues (Temperance, Patience, Chastity, Kindness, Humility, Diligence, and Charity). The first virtue, Temperance, launches on October 8, 2008.
“Those alternate reality games call themselves immersive,” said Merks. “We’ll show them what immersive really means.”
About the Citizens of Virtue
The Citizens of Virtue, led by Pastor Bryson Grace, is a global, Christian organization
dedicated to spreading God's Word, championing the family, and making it easy for
the world's fallen to return to the path of virtue. The organization boasts more
than ten million followers worldwide. Their international headquarters are located
in Kansas City, Missouri.
###
If you'd like more information about this topic, or to schedule an interview with
Pastor Bryson Grace, please call Savannah Merks at 1-888-64-VIRTU (648-4788) or email Savannah
at savannah@citizensofvirtue.com.